GAH! Damn you Xbox Live

Sam Hart

2006-09-28 04:18:39

Was goofing around on Xbox Live tonight, checking out the latest stuff from the TGS06 (Tokyo Game Show 2006). In case you haven't been following this, during the show Microsoft has been putting out some pretty kack ass demos and videos from the show. Everything from the sublime Half Life 2, Episode 2, to the shockingly Japanese Blue Dragon, to the mediocre Sonic the Hedgehog demo has been featured there.

Well tonight, I found what could be their most nefarious addition to date...


Not Doom 3, Doom 360, Doom whatever... the original Doom. Ported to run on the 360 complete with online multiplayer (droool). And the best part, Doom is available via Live Arcade, meaning no going to the store to buy this silly thing. Just download it, buy it with live points (or whatever those MS credits are), and you're good to go.

So I downloaded the trial game, and checked it out. The first thing that struck me was how bright it was. Not bright and washed out like you might expect, but bright and vibrant. Almost like the textures had a good going over to maximize the way they looked on the 360's palette.

The next thing I noticed was that this game seems to be the port of Doom that was already made for the original Xbox... The port that was included in both Doom 3 and Doom 3 Resurection. This game had virtually identical controls, even down to the quirky use of the D-pad. E.g., it seems they took what was essentially a finished product, jived up the textures, and then tried to pass it off as something new. What a rip-off!

Or is it?

See, I'll admit I'm a sucker for FPSes. Realistically you can give me even the most half-assed FPS and I'll get a kick out of it. FPSes represent 1/3rd of my personal holy trinity of gaming genres (gimmick racers and action RPGs occupying the other 2/3rds).

As such, I own probably a billion different versions of Doom. Well, okay, maybe not a billion, but certainly a fuckload.

Right now, at midnight and having very little sleep, I can easily name the following versions of Doom which I own:

Did I miss anything? Probably, but that's not the point...

The point is, I own a fuckload of Dooms. Every new fucking version of Doom that comes out I eat up like it's dulce de lecce fed to me on a silver spoon.

So here's my dilema. I don't need to buy Doom again. If I ever want to play Doom, all I have to do is crank up one of a dozen systems and I have it. Granted, none of them will have Xbox Live Achievements (GAH! OCD!), and none will have cooperative and deathmatch games with voice chat. Also only one of them can be played with a wireless controller (the one that came with Doom 3 runs on the 360 as well as original Xbox).

Also, I was kind of disappointed they didn't crank up the speed on the 360 version of Doom. The system is more than capable of playing the game at, say, twice the speed of normal Doom.

And then there's the price. At 800 credits that's somewhere in the range of $9-12 with today's exchange rate.

Even still, I wonder how long I will be able to avoid buying this. Hell, I may even do it "accidentally" (as long as I keep telling me that, it will become true!) by finding myself with the "Unlock Full Version" line highlighted and then pressing "A" instead of "B".

Bah! Damn you Microsoft! Damn you Activision! Damn you id! Damn the whole lot of you bastards who know there are fucking addicts out there like me who can't resist playing Doom one more time before they quit cold turkey! Damn you for knowing this, and damn you for taking advantage of it!

You fucking pushers! GAH!

This time I'll be resolute! I wont cave, and I wont give in. I can do this.

....then again... maybe just a taste... for old time's sake....