Sam Hart

So we've looked at all the really good games for 2007, what about those games that wound up not living up to expectations?

• 
  

  Lair

  
  

  PS3

  
  Wow, how did this happen?
  
  Gorgeous graphics coupled with some intriguing air/ground combat seems like it should be awesome. Unfortunately, the controls are terrible and the game practically unplayable. All of the delays this game experienced weren't enough to salvage this stinker.
  


• 
  

  Conan

  
  

  Xbox 360 and PS3

  
  I have no idea why there's a sudden rush of Conan licensed things, but it's generated quite the hype. From the early screenshots of this game it seemed like it should be fun. And, afterall, fast-paced beatem-ups are all the rage these days what with God of War and Heavenly Sword.
  
  Unfortunately, Conan didn't live up to the hype. It's a shallow button masher with dull combat and repetitive gameplay. Avoid it at all costs.
  
  Here's hoping the MMORPG based on the Conan franchise fares better....
  


• 
  

  Beautiful Katamari

  
  

  Xbox 360

  
  Sure, if you look at my gamerscore details you see that I play Beautiful Katamari. You'll probably see that I play it a lot. So, if I play it so much, why do I think it was a disappointment?
  
  Well, aside from the HD presentation and some minor multiplayer additions, there's really nothing new here. In fact, just about everything has been done before in every Katamari game thus far.
  
  Yes, I love it, and I enjoy it. But I'm a Katamari nut, so I'll buy and enjoy any lame Katamari regurgitation spat up on the console-du-jour. Even though I'm a Katamari fanboy I can recongize that this game is really just the same thing we've all played before. Furthermore, it really doesn't even look that great. I mean, it's HD, sure, but it seems to have the same polygon count and redraw depth as every other Katamari.
  
  So, at the end of the day you have a game that is for fanboys only... which is a shame considering how accessible and bizarre the original was.
  


• 
  

  Final Fantasy XI: Wings of the Goddess

  
  

  Xbox 360, PC, PS2

  
  I'm sure my ClanAM friends are going to call foul here.... and they may be right to. Wings of the Goddess (WotG) is, so far, a highly enjoyable addition to the FFXI universe. Hell, Campaign Battle is one of the best things to happen to FFXI in my humble opinion.
  
  The problem is, WotG showcases just how assbackwards Square is with respect to adding expansions to their games. Put simply: WotG's installer is broken. Period.
  
  Let me explain. When I went to install WotG I first encountered an update for FFXI proper. So, I installed this update, which took over an hour to download even with my very fine connection speed. I figured that installing this update would make installing the WotG expansion that much faster because I'd already have gotten the base updates out of the way.
  
  I then installed WotG. WotG comes on a disc and is installed onto the 360's HDD. The 360's HDD is SATA, and the DVD drive on the 360 is fast. So you'd assume that installing it wouldn't take too long. Of course, you'd be wrong. The installation from disc to HDD took another hour at a minimum. It was crazy slow.
  
  Okay, so with the update out of the way and WotG installed, I should be good to go, right? Wrong.
  
  Boot into FFXI and you're then greeted with another update. This one is as long as the first, and if you pay special attention you'll note that it's replacing the exact same filenames that the first update replaced. Furthermore, it'll take just as long as the first update.
  
  When it's finished, you'd think you can play, right? You just spent 3 hours installing this fucker, surely you can play it now...
  
  NO! You can't. Now you have to exit back out of FFXI and back to PlayOnline to enter in the registration for the WotG expansion and attach it to your ID.
  
  E-FUCKING-GADS! COULD THIS BE ANY MORE CONVOLUTED AND NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED?!
  
  Anyway... once you get into the game it's a lot of fun... and the expansion is really good. But, damnit to hell, this draconian and overly complex installation scheme has to go...
  
  


• 
  

  Manhunt 2

  
  

  Nintendo Wii

  
  No one cares about the Manhunt games except conservatives with sand in their vaginas... So why do I mention Manhunt 2 as a disappointment in 2007?
  
  Well, because the Wii version actually had something going for it in terms of interface with the Wiimote. I mean, throttling the throat of an enemy using the Wiimote and Nunchuck could have been a pretty neat way to play the game.
  
  The problem is the horrible filters that cover up the brutality in the game. These filters a) can't be disabled and b) obscure the action to the point of unplayability.
  
  Way to cave, Rockstar.